Conspiracy
by Speak Out
Summary: Someone is playing matchmaker in the Petshop! Can Leon resist or will the music convince him to make a more interesting decision? Includes a pet we all love singing "Kiss the Girl" D/Leon. Now with D's POV. T for Leon's potty mouth and mildly sexual stuff
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So I was listening to this song the other day and this idea popped into my head. I've been trying to ignore it, but it keeps coming back so I figured what the heck, here we go. My first pairing fic, too, although it's not much of one.

This is a ONE SHOT. There will be no sequel or more chapters, especially since I can't come up with a way to continue this except with smut and I'm not going to write that. There's plenty of it already. If you have any ideas, let me know and I'll consider it.

This is SLASH. That mean gay, man on man. Granted, we can't really be sure D's a man, but that's beside the point. If you don't like slash, please click your back button.

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Leon rapped on the door to the pet shop sharply, holding a box of pastries under one arm, a cigarette hanging from his lips. After a moment, he heard a latch being undone and D stood smiling in the doorway.

"Good afternoon, Detective, just in time for tea, as always," D said in his quiet voice, stepping to the side and gesturing with a sweeping motion for Leon to enter. Leon ground his cigarette on the pavement and stepped inside, bracing himself for the wall of incense he was about to step into but was surprised to smell something different, lighter and less oppressive. He offered D the sweets and dropped unceremoniously onto a small couch.

"You burning something new in here, D?" He propped his feet on the low coffee table.

D pushed Leon's feet from the table as he responded, "Why yes, Detective. I'm surprised you noticed. What do you think?"

Leon sniffed the air a few times. "It's alright, I guess. I'm not much of an incense sort of guy. It's easier to breathe then that other crap you usually burn."

"I'm glad you approve," D said with light sarcasm. His upset expression at Leon's harsh language was smoothed away as he walked to a small room off the main one where a pot sat on a low burner.

_Percussion  
Strings  
Winds  
Words _

Leon looked around sharply. It was never good to hear things that weren't there, even worse if you happened to be in Count D's shop.

"Hey Count? Did you just hear something?" Leon asked cautiously.

D returned with a tray laden with sweets, cups, and the tea pot and asked, "I'm sorry, did you say something, Detective?"

Leon grunted and said, "No, nothing." He glanced around the room as if trying to spot a perp before he could run. He thought he heard a snicker from one corner, but soon dismissed the ill feelings he had. D offered him a cup of tea.

"You're rather jumpy today; are you feeling alright?" D asked, taking a cup for himself and sipping delicately. He sat opposite Leon and delicately crossed one leg over the other.

_There you see him  
Sitting there across the way_

Leon stopped, the tea cup frozen in midair. He looked around again, but still saw nothing. No movement. That was strange on it's own, really. By now he should have been bitten by that goat-sheep thing. Chris hadn't come out yet either.

"No, everything's fine."

_He don't got a lot to say  
But there's something about him.  
And you don't know why  
But you're dying to try  
You wanna kiss the boy. _

Leon slammed his tea cup onto the table and was on his feet in an instance, spinning this way and that, trying to find where that stupid voice was coming from. D stared at him, wide eyed like a young deer who'd heard her first gun shot. His tea cup hovered midair between the saucer and his lips.

"Detective? Are you sure you don't want me to add a few herbs to your tea? I know of a few that could help calm you."

_Yes, you want him  
Look at him, you know you do  
It's possible he wants you, too  
There is one way to ask him_

"No," Leon said hastily, still standing. "You're not putting any of that yuppie crap in my drink."

D only shrugged daintily, gazing serenely at the detective.

How can he not hear it? Leon thought. It was like the voice was coming from the walls. D was still watching him carefully, now sipping his tea again. Leon made some excuse for his weird behavior; he couldn't remember just what he had said. He hoped it was believable. There was some kind of soft music playing with the words and it was getting into his head, distracting him. He took a deep breath and sat again, this time not taking the cup. Maybe D really had drugged it this time.

_It don't take a word  
Not a single word  
Go on and kiss the boy_

He clenched his hands and tried to ignore this crazy music. Kiss D? It's kidding right? Sure, he was kinda pretty for a guy, always wearing those dress things. And Leon could swear he wore make-up, even if he'd never seen the man apply it or fix it up, unlike the other women who always excused themselves to touch up. There was no lipstick on his cup either....

God, Leon! He berated himself mentally. Snap out of it!  
_  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
My, oh, my  
Look at the boy too shy  
He ain't gonna kiss the boy_

Damn right, I'm not, Leon thought. D looked to be off in his own world, smiling softly as he savored his tea, no longer observing Leon. His long, dark lashes brushed against his cheeks and framed his large eyes. Leon watched his finely painted lips press against the cup rim, long white fingers supporting it gingerly.

_Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Ain't that sad  
Ain't it shame, too bad _  
_You gonna miss the boy _

Leon cleared his throat and tried to chase these crazy thoughts from his mind. D was a guy, for fuck's sake. This music was messing with his head. He looked around again but still couldn't find the source. This was insane. He was not interested in D that way. Sure, the guy took great care of Chris and even himself sometimes, when he came back really busted up from the streets. And he cut a striking figure in the right light. And that look he sometimes got when petting one of his favorite pets...

Leon almost reached for his cup again when he realized something. That wasn't incense he was smelling in here. It was lighter, subtler. Perfume maybe? But who would be wearing perfume here?

_Now's your moment  
Floating in a blue lagoon  
Boy, you better do it soon  
No time will be better  
He don't say a word  
And he won't say a word  
Until you kiss the boy_

As crazy as the music was, it had a point. D wasn't talking much. Even he didn't enjoy tea that much. Leon gave up trying to find where the music was and found himself just enjoying the moment, watching D sip tea. He'd never considered having any other feelings for D than just friendship. Maybe some kind of brotherly thing, what with him taking care of Chris and all. But he wasn't the mushy type and didn't dwell on feelings like those.

But...with this new incense, perfume, whatever...and the music was pretty relaxing...and D actually looked kind of nice in this lighting...

_Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don't be scared  
You got the mood prepared  
Go on and kiss the boy_

Leon was good at making snap decisions usually. He just followed his gut and it always, well, almost always, lead him in the right direction. But it didn't seem to know what to do either. Suddenly he felt awkward, and D had on one of his weird little smirks again. Leon wondered about that rumor that the Count could read minds again, and then dismissed it. Nonsense.

_Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don't stop now  
Don't try to hide it how  
You wanna kiss the boy_

Leon couldn't deny it anymore, no matter how much he argued with himself. He didn't know if it was the tea, the atmosphere, or the music, but he wanted to be nearer the man across from him. He tried to weigh the pros and con in his head through the fog that was steadily growing. Even if D didn't want it, Leon was sure the Chinese man would have little trouble just ignoring what had happened and get on with his life...and if he wanted it too? Well then there was just a whole new realm of possibilities.

_Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Float along  
Listen to the song  
The song say kiss the boy_

But I'm not gay, Leon thought, struggling now to focus on anything but the delicate curve of D's cheek, neck, the shape visible beneath the clingy fabric despite the high collar.

_Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Music play  
Do what the music say  
You wanna kiss the boy _

Screw it, Leon decided finally. He stood again, a little shaky. D looked at him, openly concerned now, and put down his cup. He stood and approached Leon cautiously.

"Detective, are you sure you're feeling alright?" D's voice was sweet and soft, quivering a little with worry.

_You've got to kiss the boy  
Why don't you kiss the boy _

Leon took a few hesitant steps forward and D began to make for the kitchen, saying something Leon didn't hear. Leon caught him by the arm halfway there. D looked at him, outraged at this sort of personal contact.

"Detective! What do you think-"

Leon cut him off by leaning down and pressing his lips firmly again the mouth of the shorter man. D stiffened immediately and tried to push Leon away, but the detective was stronger and gripped D's delicate wrists so he couldn't get away. Slowly, very slowly, D relaxed into the kiss and Leon felt a fire burning in his stomach. D began to struggle in Leon's grasp again and he released his hands, sliding his arms around the count's narrow waist instead.

_You gotta kiss the boy  
Go on and kiss the boy _

Leon made the mistake of breaking the kiss to breathe and began to pull away. Looking at the man he had just, oh God, kissed, he was surprised to see a mischievous glint in the mismatched eyes. Before he had time to think about it, the tables were turned and he found himself pinned against the wall, felt the lips he had just been admiring pressed against his skin, warm breath on his neck.

Busy as they were, neither heard the chuckle that came from a back corner. T-chan snuck out of his hiding place and silently slipped through the back door, into the inner sections of the shop. He was greeted with a series of rapid fire questions from the other animals who waited for him there.

"Did it work?" They all asked.

"Of course," the totestu said and laughed. "My singing always does the trick."

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A/n: So that's that. T-chan is playing matchmaker and apperently has quite the singing voice. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Screwing with Leon's head is incredibly fun. ;)


	2. From D's Perspective

A/N: Ok, I lied. We have an update! I got to thinking and I just had to write it from D's perspective. I don't have any idea why D can't hear the singing. The magic of the shop I guess. And the poetic license of a fanfiction author. So here we go, from D's point of view...

D checked a small clock on the wall of the front room of his shop, puzzling over it. It was getting late into the afternoon already and Leon hadn't imposed on him yet. He didn't really mind, of course, and it wasn't like Leon came by every day. He did look forward to the sweets the detective brought him, though. They were always a treat.

From his seat on the couch, he spoke to the horned boy who sat against the far wall, who lazily tugged at a lose thread on his pant hem, "T-Chan, are you certain everything is alright in the back? Everyone has been so quiet today you'd think someone had died."

T-chan shrugged. "Everything seems alright to me, Count. Chris went to take a nap about a half and hour ago, so maybe it's just that he's not up to stir up the joint."

D made a thoughtful sound and smoothed his clothes across his knees. When he looked up again, he saw T-Chan smirking openly.

"I think a better question is what's up with you?" T-Chan asked. "You've been tense all day. Fearful that cop won't bring you your candy today?"

The count shot him a glare. "You'd do well to watch your mouth around the man who controls whether you eat or not, Tetsu."

The boy laughed. "Aw, D, come on. I remember the looks you gave my human self. I've seen you send a few of those his way."

"Out!" D ordered him, dragging the boy to his feet and pushing him off toward the door to the inner sections of the shop, T-Chan laughing all the way. "I won't put up with your speculation today!" T-Chan was always doing this and it was beginning to get on his nerves.

T-Chan turned back as he opened the door with a wink. "Alright, alright, no more speculating. Go check the door. I think I hear him coming." And he slipped inside with a wink, closing the door behind him.

T-Chan was still laughing when he caught the attention of Pon-Chan. When he finished explaining what had happened, she said to him, "You just like teasing him, don't you?"

"A little," T-chan said when he'd recovered, still with a giggle or two. "The count is cute when he gets all flustered."

She smiled indulgently. "You know that no matter what you say, you'll never get them together."

T-Chan thought for a moment and then grinned widely. "Nothing I say, huh? What about something I do?"

She looked at him cautiously, a little worried.

"I have a plan," he whispered to her and she giggled. The crept back to the door to the front and T-Chan carefully slid inside, hiding himself behind a folding screen kept near the back.

While T-Chan had been scheming, D had checked to make sure the tea was ready and noticed that T-Chan had in fact been lying and Leon was not at the door. Shortly, though, the familiar knocking broke the silence. D carefully schooled his expression and tried to ignore the nagging irritation from T-Chan's constant teasing. He went to the door and opened it, smiling at the sunlight and the detective.

"Good afternoon, Detective. Just in time for tea, as always," D greeted. Leon spat his cigarette on the street and D suppressed a shudder before waving him inside. The man could be so disgusting. But, ooh, pastries.

"Burning something new in here, D?" Leon asked, and D rolled his eyes behind his back as the detective propped his feet on the low table between two couches. As he walked toward the couches himself, he pushed Leon's boots from the tabletop.

"Why, yes, Detective. I'm surprised you noticed. What do you think?" Actually D wasn't burning much of anything today. He liked to air out the front rooms now and then when no customer was expected so he didn't choke anyone when the air became too thick, especially his beloved pets. This was just the small amount of scent he usually applied to his person. He watched Leon sniff the air a few times.

"It's alright, I guess. I'm not much of an incense sort of guy. It's easier to breathe then that other crap you usually burn."

D supposed this was the closest thing to a compliment he was likely to get out the detective, though the language could use improvement. "I'm glad you approve."

He left Leon to his sprawled seating as he went to check the tea again and prepare a plate of treats and cups. Suddenly though, there was a strange amount of rustling coming from the main room. He heard Leon ask a question but he couldn't make out what was said.

Returning with the tray, he responded, ""I'm sorry, did you say something, Detective?"

As he set the tray on the table and poured some tea for both of them, Leon grunted and sat back on the couch. "No, nothing." D raised an eyebrow at him.

"You are rather jumpy today; are you feeling alright?" D asked, sitting and taking his cup. D watched, a little concerned, as Leon went to drink but stopped half way, glancing this way and that.

"No, every thing's fine."

D shrugged slightly and accepted that Leon must have just had a stressful day. He was always a little jumpy when he came to visit anyway.

The Count jumped himself when Leon slammed down his cup and leaped to his feet. He watched cautiously as Leon turned about the shop, searching. Perhaps T-Chan was playing some kind of joke on the poor detective. He could be pretty disgruntled when forced from the front room.

"Detective? Are you sure you don't want me to add a few herbs to your tea? I know of a few that could help calm you," he asked, honestly concerned for his visitor. But what was he saying? Herbs in the tea? He should know better than offer something like that to Leon.

"No," Leon said hastily, still standing. "You're not putting any of that yuppie crap in my drink."

And that was why. Yuppie crap...like Leon knew a thing about tea.

Something was definitely going on here. Leon kept switching from staring intently around the room to staring directly at him. What was going on in that blond little head of his? He certainly looked confused, even a little scared. Now there was something unusual.

Leon had stopped drinking his tea and D wondered if he should offer him something else. But then Leon reached for his cup again and D relaxed.

What could possibly be on his mind? D thought. Leon was usually very vocal when upset, but he wasn't saying anything today. If he didn't calm down soon he would worry himself half to death. D wondered if maybe he should slip him something to calm him down, or perhaps even force him to a doctor. This was getting a little absurd.

D went back to sipping his tea, but continued to carefully observe the human across from him. Leon was clenching his fists and clearing his throat, like he did when he became angry. The detective thought that D didn't notice these little mannerisms, but he did. He noticed everything that went on his shop. Everything, that is, except for whatever was bothering his guest. D took a long breath when he realized that he was beginning to get tense as well.

Now Leon was biting his lip and shooting nervous glances at D when he thought the Chinese man wasn't looking. D watched him discreetly, trying to analyze what on Earth could be bothering him for all this time. But before he had a chance to really puzzle over it, Leon was standing.

D put down his cup and stood too, afraid the man might lose his footing with how wobbly he stood. Leon took a few tentative steps in D's direction but the Count quickly made for the kitchen.

"Detective, I am going to make you something to calm you down no matter how much you protest," D insisted as he walked, but suddenly there was a hand gripping his wrist. He turned and protested, "Detective! What do you think-"

But he was cut off by Leon's lips against his own. He stiffened, panicked, tried to pull away in his surprise and shock, but Leon had him in a vice grip. He tried to fight, but Leon's lips were warm and soft and so very inviting...

Soon he found himself kissing back, leaning into the man who'd cornered him so. He tugged his hands out of Leon's grasp and wound his arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He was almost surprised to find himself enjoying this sweet, almost chaste little kiss, but if the murmurs of the animals of the shop for the last few weeks were anything to go on, they'd all been waiting for it.

Leon broke the kiss abruptly and D smirked when he saw the shock and confusion in his eyes. In a moment he'd pushed Leon against a wall, before he could regain his senses and dash from the shop. D pressed his body against Leon and kissed him hungrily. Now that he was thinking about it, he was surprised it had taken Leon this long to make a move. Sure, D had been playing with him from the start, but he never suspected his teasing had affected the detective. Or just how much of his own feelings it really reflected.

He ran his tongue against Leon's lip and found no resistance. The detective tasted like cigarettes, beer, and women, but right now D didn't mind. He knew this was wrong, that his grandfather and father would never approve, but at the moment all he think about was the chest he was pressed against, the hair his fingers were winding themselves in, and the hands that clung to his hips.

Busy as they were, neither heard the chuckle that came from a back corner. T-Chan snuck out of his hiding place and silently slipped through the back door, into the inner sections of the shop. He was greeted with a series of rapid fire questions from the other animals who waited for him there. Pon-Chan had apparently spread the word of his planning.

"Did it work?" They all asked.

"Of course," the totestu said, laughing. "My singing always does the trick."

END

A/n: The more I type that last line, the more I wonder about how often T-Chan does this. And this is certainly the last update...and that's probably a blantant lie. Eventually I'll think of another chapter, most likely. But for now, that's it. Don't hold me to any more chapters.


End file.
